Welcome to the Art of Alchemy

Creating Space

Thank you for subscribing to the Art of Alchemy. This is space where I write about what I call the art and discipline of spiritual practice. I want a spiritual practice that helps me embody both sturdiness and flexibility. One that helps me attune to my inner guidance system in real time when things get messy, hard, and equally when things are mundane, routine.

My spiritual practice is informed and guided by Chinese medicine, Daoist meditation, Daoist mysticism. The Daoist meditation I study and practice is called inner alchemy. It is a body of spiritual wisdom, meditation, and practices that are used to transform your inner world. This process of transformation creates multidimensional space within you that allows you to hold paradox, contradiction, duality and for your authentic SELF to breathe and be your tangible, present, and conscious inner guide in navigating life - the hard, the challenges, the mundane, the sorrow, the joy.

Nearly 17 years ago I attended my first qi gong retreat taught by Michael Winn. I had been practicing as an herbalist and Chinese medicine practitioner for nearly 3 years then. But being in that space dedicated to learning qi gong basics, I had a powerful AHA moment. Chinese medicine is a living system not a diagnostic system to be reasoned and understood with the mind. It is a living system and it is living in me. That insight was utterly transformative, and it launched change in every area of my life, including my marriage at the time and the way I approached my work as an herbalist. It changed everything about my life and showed me a small glimpse of what inner spaciousness could feel like. I recognized the voice of my SELF trying to peak through the distractions and fog and send a invitation to connect every now and then. Once I was aware I was then responsible for aligning my life to match that knowing.

There is an underlying intelligence that runs through all of life. Andres’ death has shown me that in ways I never thought were possible. This intelligence moves in and through me in its aliveness and unfolding. I am most aware of it when I am with my child, when I am meditating, when I am listening to music, when I am rowing in a boat on water, when I am crafting an herbal formula for someone, when I am sitting with my cat purring on chest, when I am writing, when I witnessing someone’s transformation and healing, when I am acknowledging the beauty and synchronicities unfolding all around me, when I am utterly dissolved in the longing and pain of missing Andres. There are so many portals that allow us to merge with that timeless aspect of ourselves and of consciousness.

The only way I have survived intact is my connection to the innate intelligence within me that I think of as my soul, my own Divinity that is not separate from the Divine intelligence, that some call God, Love, Source, my inner compass, my inner sanctuary, home.  They are all different ways of describing the same thing, the same energetic address. And the way I know how to find and rest in that place is through my Daoist spiritual practices.

I have spent many moments in what I think of as the temporary address of anger, grief, victimhood, powerlessness, despair, anxiety, darkness, fear, abandonment. Through all of the sea of emotions, I have also equally known a deep timeless true place that is like a womb, still quiet, filled with the biggest love and sense of being, held beyond my imagination. It is pure spaciousness, ease, peace, and possibility. I have touched it, I have lived within the comfort and shelter and bliss of it.  Its existence motivates me in the hard moments, the anxious moments, the fear. 

My whole life I have been searching for a way to feel my emotions, the bigness, deepness, richness and wholeness of them.  I have navigated a lot in my life and made a lot of choices that deviate from the traditional path our culture sees as good and acceptable.  I have navigated and been shaped by healing from childhood sexual abuse and trauma, divorce, family estrangement and reconnection, becoming a mom at 48, becoming a widow way too soon, becoming a single mom of a then 3 year old, a career path as an herbalist and one who practices Chinese medicine and not acupuncture (a whole other conversation) to mention some of the more notable things. Some of these were conscious choices, and some were ones I had no control over.

Tender uncertain times are the times that interest me most about spiritual practice. How do I bring forward the moments of light and connection inside my practice to myself in those times of need? How do I cultivate spaciousness that can hold my own contradictions and paradoxes, but those I encounter in others and the world?

Single parenting and grief, are my two big lived experiences right now. They are my fertile ground for my spiritual practice. Being a parent is one of the biggest things I have ever done. It is the biggest challenge and possibly the biggest source of joy, wonder, self doubt, purpose, motivation, humility, and gratitude I have ever known.  Being a widow is teaching me how to live at the intersection between a well of immense grief, sadness, and longing while knowing in a BIG way that there is no separation. Finding the energetic address within me of both sturdiness and flexibility. And in pursuing joy with relentless discipline.

Writing is what has helped me organize myself, make sense of what is happening within and around me. Writing has been my touchstone on every single step of my journey.  It has helped me survive. But it is not just writing, it is stories, mine and others’ stories about their inner journeys and spiritual life.  Others inspire me and give me permission to unfold my own unique and distinct story and make me feel less alone. 

I think about how plants communicate through their root networks, sending aid to other plants in need. And how whales breach by creating loud noises that can be heard by other whales, not just to communicate distress but for play. These are ways nature shows us how to live as part of something bigger than ourselves. I think the telling and sharing of stories is one of the ways we as humans can support each other, in feeling less alone, in giving each other permission to find our own path. And Art of Alchemy is my contribution.

I believe we can create safe sacred community of like minded souls to hold space for each of us to sit in the tender places together.

Subscribing

You can subscribe as a free or paid subscriber. As a paid subscriber, here’s what you’ll receive:

• All my posts including access to the full archive of all past posts

• The ability to comment

• A monthly reflection prompt——a simple question or thread to hold inwardly throughout the month

• A monthly guided meditation—offered as an invitation to experience Daoist meditation practices.

• First access and discounts on upcoming courses, which offer practical, grounded ways to bring Daoist and Chinese medicine practices into your daily life

Please know that your support makes all of this possible—not just logistically, but energetically.
It creates the space for me to show up in this way.
It helps hold this little sanctuary open, for all of us.

Who I Am

I am Michele. I am a parent and a widow and also an herbalist, a master of Medical Qi Gong, a Daoist priest. I have been practicing Chinese herbal medicine for over 19 years, Taoist meditation for 16 years, and Chinese energetic medicine for over 10 years, over a decade of which I spent exploring these landscapes with my life partner in many of my grandest adventures, Andres. 

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